The guy in my dreams

Since he is after all recurring in all kind of ways. I might as well post an entry about him in my new blog. The last time that I thought about this guy was October last year. He has been my crush for more than 5 years already. Five years ago, we were actually talking and very nice to each other. But college came, and I didn't know how but our friendship just basically melted.I haven't seen him almost a year now. And the only connection we would probably have is friendster. But I don't know why everytime I have a dream na andun siya.. I always remember it in some way or another.

There is something about this dream I had kanina. Usually, he would reject or snub me.. but this time we were actually friends. And he kept on reaching out. He kept on talking to me. He kept on reminding me of the things that we used to remember. And he actually said that he considered living a life with me. Maybe as friends, maybe in another form of relationship.

But that is just dreamland. In reality, he has been happily in a relationship for about 7 years already. With the same girl. And even if its just pictures I see.. that they are meant for each other. Super comfortable not only silang dalawa, but the people around them that they have brought together. I can honestly say that there is no better person for this guy other than his gf right now. It actually breaks my hurt to admit that. :)

I was hurt when my friend blatantly told me to face the truth. A truth that I have already known for years now. Hindi talaga kami bagay. Another friend asked me, "pinagnanasahan mo ba ung guy?" It sounds pangit in filipino but I think what she actually meant was if I want to be with the guy. Truthfully, I want to be in the same kind of relationship. Not necessarily with that guy, but the same level. Sometimes, I would think I'm not capable of being in one. I don't have enough family role model of a successful or good relationship. One with respect, understanding, generosity and of course love.

This guy, many people like him. Girls like him because he is gwapo and has a great built. Guys like him because he is sporty and very easy to get along with. I like him because he treats every human being with curiosity. He is genuinely interested in every person. The way he converse and treat other people is actually quite amazing. And for someone who looks so good, I guess it puts him above in all aspects in my eyes.

I hope that he would visit me again in my dreams late this year na.. he's kinda distracting. :)