Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Patience.. is such a long long road... but wait!

Meet the newest member of the employed group!!

You'll never guess where this pic was taken

All my bags were about to be packed.. I was ready to go.. but oh no! Life is really so ironic.. 24 hours ago.. I was set to leave the country two weeks from now.. for vacation and also try opportunities abroad.. but what do you know.. God really has plans for me... after all the prayers!!! It was a good thing I waited for it.. for the best job for me.. for the best offer.. I won't go into details muna para I don't spoil anything pero.. I'm starting work on Monday. It's great kasi I'm working with familiar people.

Pleasure Seeking

I don't remember how we ended up with this name. But our college barkada aka pleasure seekers found some underlying meaning to it. Biblical daw. Hmm. Anyway.. we had a pseudo-despedida party last Sunday because we thought that it was the last time this year that most of us would see each other. In as much as we wanted to do activities.. our meeting turned out to be a talkfest! Mamamil and I were the first there at around 1pm and we went home past 11 already! More than ten hours together and we still had so many things to say! So many things to reminisce.. and so many booboos to laugh at!

We looked so poised pa here.. with all that whipped cream in front of us!
Our choice of weapons
BANGer sistersOur lamest attempt to look like a Korean barkada
I love this girls! Too bad Aimee, Kate, Norbs and Donna weren't there.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


there's something about intelligent guys that makes my knees tremble with excitement and my heart beat 10 times faster...

give me that and a great smile.. and all else fades away...

Thursday, July 26, 2007

finish it!

I got this from janel's site kaya lang hindi naman niya alam kaya hindi ko nalang siya i-aacknowledge. sabihin mo nalang cris lupe!

1. Hi my name is...

2. Never in my life have I..
used illegal drugs

3. The one person who can drive me
my mom. without even trying.

4. High School...
an endless talent show for me.

5. When I'm nervous...
I pound on my chest. literally.

6. The last time I cried was...
when I watched joy luck club two weeks ago. na naman. labo.

7. If I were to get married right now
my maid of honor/best man...
camzi siyempre. pero kung may asawa na siya that time.. hanap ako iba.

8. My hair is...
all over my face because of the electric fan.

9. When I was 5...
I was such a darling. promise.

10. Last Christmas...
mahina ang kita sa pamasko. hahaha!

11. I should be...
working by now.

12. When I look down I see...
my water container with orange juice.

13. By this time next year...
I hoping for a lot so secret muna!!

16. My current annoyance.

17. I have a hard time understanding...
narrow-minded people.

18. There's this girl I know who...
is excited to see me again!!! :)

19. You know I like you when...
I would do anything for you.

20. If I won an award, the first person
I would tell would be...
my momma.

21. Take my advice...
Don't live life with regrets.

22. My ideal breakfast..
scrambled eggs. I don't know why. pancakes.

23. If you visited the place I was
the hospital? I'd ask you if you are a stalker for going there.

24. I plan to visit someone...
real soon. sooner than we thought.

25. If you spend the night at my
we'll watch DVDs, eat, watch tv. talk. talk. laugh. talk. sleep.

26. I'd stop my wedding if...
I won't stop my own wedding.

27. The world could do without...
a lot of things and attitude.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a
cockroach than..
go sparring with a crocodile.

29. Most recent thing I've bought
nothing. have no money for anything. maybe food.

30. Most recent thing someone else
bought for me...

31. My favorite blonde is...
gwen stefani.

32. My favorite brunette is...
rachel bilson, julia roberts

33. My favorite redhead is...
I used to have one.. I forgot.

33. My favorite grayhead is...
I forgot.

34. My middle name is...

35. This morning I...
cooked hotdog and scrambled eggs. and ate them.

36. The animals I would like to see
giraffe!!!!!! koala!

37. One time, at a bar...
I was drunk. Ran off while my shirt was up.. and then end up sitting on a stairwell.. the next scenes are not too decent. hehehe.

38. Last night I was...
watching 24 season 3 for the second time.

39. There's this guy I know who..
I would love to be friends again.

40. I don't understand..
myself. hehehe.

41. A better name for me would be...
no need for that. I like my name.

42. Tomorrow I am...
going to persuade my cousin to treat me somewhere.

43. my birthday is....
October 28. Let's go Sts. Simon and Jude!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

where's my usual magic?

I have been a pesky little brat. Just because I can't get a job, I feel so down, so sad, so bitter and basically helpless. My friends keep telling me that I am good at what I do. That they all saw me and at my best and with that I am capable of anything. My friends who gradated ahead of me kept telling me that life at work is so much different and harder. Looking for a job, acing an interview was such a difficult task. Not for me. Or so I thought. If there was something I am good at.. its interviews. Every recitation, every thesis defense I aced because I know what I am saying and I can say it well. But now, it seems that I can't get a job that would only require an interview. Maybe its because I don't easily have rapport with people I talk with. I love challenging what other people think. And maybe that makes me a little unlikeable with HR during interviews. I really don't know why. I really don't know what to do. Every job interview I went to.. I go out feeling that they will call the next day and give me a damn job offer. But weeks will pass and therefore I shall know that my job application is unsuccessful. My friends tell me its because I don't really know what I want to do. I think they are right.

However, I was born a fighter. I feel so stupid for letting my recent failures to influence my usual "magic." That includes confidence, charms, wit and other people related skills. I feel guilty nonetheless because I have a pack of friends and relatives who pushes me to not give up.. and I just keep on whining. I am such a complaining irritant.

Having said that, if there's one great quality I have.. its the ability to move on with utmost speed. I mean, right after the next day of my "lowest point" I woke up feeling that it was a brand new day. And so... when all else fails.. I seek the only opinion that I value with all my heart. God's. Ever since I started job hunting, I have asked for his guidance and his control over my life.. and maybe it is His will for me to be unemployed. Maybe it is His will for me to fail and see His plans through.

Right after all that.. I bounced back. Ready to try again. And suddenly my mom told me that I am going with her to US this August. Pending all my job applications, I just couldn't say no to it. So yes.. barely a month from now, I shall board a plane again. And have a vacation, look for a new beginning.. I really don't know but for the first time this year.. I felt again that possibilities are endless. I'm excited and scared at the same time. But having something to hope for gives me euphoria.

If you really want to.. you can just look around and see a lot of things to be happy about

Friday, July 20, 2007

lead me Lord

I think I am approaching the lowest point in my life.. and because I feel that everything is failing and falling, I think I need SILENCE in my life. I need to be silent so that I may hear what He plans for me. I haven't been listening for a long time, and now I feel so shattered. Lead me. Lord, please lead me.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

In other news..

My cousin Teyz is pregnant!!

I am not sure if I can make a public announcement about it on my blog. But what the heck! A baby is always a blessing.. :) My cousin's tummy is so big already even if its just barely 4 months!!! I'm really excited about it. Teyz, Camz and I grew are the only cousins in the family who grew up together because other cousins were either too old or too young. We wanted to have a large pack of kids growing up together like we did. Although this time, we are hoping that we have more boys in the family!! Our family are mostly girls that is why women in our clan are very strong, independent and outspoken. Now, I can't help but be glad that the first in the next generation is almost here. The ultimate kuya or ate!! :) Meanwhile, a few years from now, I hope I could be true to our agreement of having many kids in the future.

my life.. pretty much sucks right now!

For the last few days, I have been finding comfort in my own house, my room, my DVD player and my internet connection. I never really liked going out for parties and other loud activities unless I am there to catch up with old friends. Its that, or I go out to watch movies. Its just whenever I attempt to break from the shield of my home, random people ask me how I have been doing and what I have been up to. Its the same thing as before. NOTHING. I feel so bad. Because technically, I am waiting for job applications processing. It would have been better if I was somewhere on a vacation while waiting for that job offer call. And begging for atleast a month to start working would be my immediate reaction. Not like now. I feel like someone who was last to be chosen to join a team.. the only difference is the teams are not simultaneously picking teams like how they show it in the movies. Corporate world from the human resources perspective is not actually a very fast paced department in this country. So now, a month after my ranting and I still feel useless. But I would give in after this month.. get a job from a department and industry I don't like for the sake of working.

In other news, I was actually out last Wednesday to meet my cousin's best friend Haphi. Usually I would dread the 2 hour drive to go to a restaurant especially since I have been sick for a week now. My chest is about to explode from all the coughing. Back to last Wed, well we ate at Chilis so we ordered the bottomless tortilla chips which was very appropriate since Haphi was late. By almost 2 hours. When she came, we felt so bloated that we didn't actually get to refill our chips. Plus I had a hard time ordering because I wanted something with a very strong taste because as I've said in my previous post, my tastebuds have been inactive for quite some time now. Ate Izel told me that whatever restaurant I went to, I would order the same thing. Pork Chop, tenderloin, sirloin, chicken (any kind), or bbq. Well what can I say, I am such a carnivorous person. Hehe. I wanted to prove her wrong so I ordered the mahi-mahi special but immediately changed it when I found out that they were spicy. I ordered the next thing I saw, grilled pork chops with cheese toppings. I think she's right. Something on my mind would let me live as a vegetarian. Tsk tsk. Anyway, I think we only talked for about an hour.. but if there's one thing I learned, its that when you feel the shittiest, you go back to old friends, recall the happy times and you'll remember what you are really made of. Here are some of our pictures:

Saturday, July 07, 2007

sick, tired and tasteless

Volare, oh oh, e contare, oh oh oh oh
Nel blu, dipinto di blu, felice di stare lassu
E volavo, volavo felice piu in alto del sole ed ancora piu su
Mentre il mondo pian piano spariva lontano laggiu
Una musica dolce suonava soltanto per me
Volare, oh oh, e cantare, oh oh oh oh
No wonder my happy heart sings, your love has given me wings
Nel blu, dipinto di blu, felice di stare lassu

I don't know why the radio was playing that song. I don't even know what the song means. I just heard it again. A slower one by Frank Sinatra I think. So anyway, I have been sick for almost 3 days now. Actually my dad was sick. Then he got better, and my mom, our house helper and I got sick. My dad refused to admit that it was his virus that caught us. We all have the same thing. Cough, colds and fever. I guess its because of the constant weather and temperature changes. Yeah o well. Because of this, I just lost my precious taste buds. Waah! Ang tanga ko pa. Hindi ko pa napansin agad. Palibhasa mahilig talaga ako kumain. I just thought matabang. I mean. grabe. I just bought chips ahoy with chunky chocolate pieces and white chocolate fudge.. and I realized.. hindi ko man lang siya malalasahan. kainis. so after three tasteless pieces of chocolate chip cookie, I have decided to wait out. Sayang naman ang pera ko diba. The only thing that I enjoy now is my iced tea. Kahit matabang siya, it reminds me of the iced tea na binebenta sa CSA nuon. Sobrang tabang. pero still mabenta siya. It kinda makes me happy. Hehehe.

Anyway, I watched the first ever UAAP game again. Yup. La Salle is back!!! I'm so glad. I only watched it on tv though because of some misunderstanding on transportation. Sabi ng friend ko, if you're planning something, dapat i-confirm mo pa. ata. Labo. I never heard of such thing. Well anyway nasayang tuloy ung ticket ko. Sniff! Anyway, it feels good to be back in UAAP. It was such a big thing during the first 2-3 years of my college then thesis ruled the last two years of my college life. Grabe I remember pa we would imitate the pep squad. Take note ung mga guys ung ginagaya namin! Before I entered college, I was already a big fan of the DLSU team. That was the time that Dino Aldeguer shot the half court winning shot. It was all unreal. However, when I entered college, graduate na most of the great players that I would watch on tv before. Fortunately, there is still one great one left:

Mr. Florendo Ritualo Jr. Renren! :) Wala na akong makitang picture niya with his #4 jersey. Don't get me wrong, I mean the other players were good too. But I admire this guy's passion and drive for playing. Plus he was the captain at that time, the way he took care of his teammates was well.. impressive. This guy made me love basketball so much. Ang galing sobra. When you are watching a crucial game, you can expect this guy to nail 3 pointers from all over the court. Sobrang galing! I never had the courage to ask for his autograph or picture during the 2001 animo party. I totally regret it. But here I can totally say, I am your one big great fan Mr. Ritualo! :) You redefined collegiate basketball for me. Anyway I can't wait to watch the most hyped-up basketball game!

DLSU vs. ADMU! I don't know why this archer wants to kill the bird. I mean during my frosh orientation days, I was told that the Lasallian Archer aimed high right through the sky. But this one is aiming at whatever is infront of him. And this is what they use in UAAP. I think they should change it. During the DLSU vs. UP game yesterday it looked like the archer wanted to kill a naked man. Hehe. Whatever. Still I guess one year break from UAAP did a lot of good for the team. Ang galing nila. Whatever Coach Franz' system is... its working. and oh! Cholo scored 19 points. He deserves this. I just hope he continues to play this way this season. No more injuries or anything. I don't think UAAP has seen how great this player is.