Thursday, May 31, 2007

wedding dresses

I just need one and I don't know where to look for it! My cousin's wedding is next week! Where do I buy a dress that fits me? and that I could buy with the little money I have!

Its only suppose to be a civil and casual wedding but my glamorous aunt and uncle decided to do it in a hotel! I wonder how grand the church wedding could be! I researched online that I could be wearing simple dresses like this. I love it. But where do I get one? And of course.. I want to do it with sleeves!

Panic mode sinking in. I wish I am only half my body weight now. This would not probably be a problem. Tsk. tsk. tsk.

We were looking for clothes earlier. I can't believe that most of the dresses we found were only available in size small. Talk about enjoying shopping in this country.

I have to do something about this. But for now, I'm focusing on doing something about my uncontrollable hair.. off to the parlor tom!

Monday, May 28, 2007

my nonsense friend on it again

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit

Its great to have friends who make you laugh so hard!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

pano ka hindi mababaliw sa ulan??

Habang sobra ang lakas ng ulan sa labas.. dalawang emosyon ang aking naramdaman. Parang tuwing umuulan lagi akong nakakaramdam ng konting lungkot at pagkaantok. Ang antok ay bagamat natural lang.. pero ang pagkalungkot, paminsan ipinagtataka ko. Siguro dahil may pagkakataon upang ikaw ay magmuni-muni.. At dahil wala naman din akong ibang magagawa, andito na naman ako sa harap ng aking kompyuter. At kung anu-ano na namang website ang aking napupuntahan. Ka-chat ko ang aking kaibigan na si Norbelle. Sa aking college barkada, siya ang lagi naming binibiro na mahilig sa mga walang katuturan na bagay. Sa ingles, mahilig sa mga "nonsense." Bagama't palagi niya itong dinideny.. natawa nalang ako sa pag-uusap namin kanina.

Aimee: alam mo ung guy dun sa commercial ng softdrinks?
Aimee: ung sa free phone..
Aimee: ung sa may pool??
Aimee: crush ko un e
Aimee: i saw a pic of him
Aimee: hotness
Norbelle: d ko matandaan
Aimee: wait pakita ko ung pic
Norbelle: ung face a
Norbelle: aaa
Aimee: ung asa dulo right a
Norbelle: yup
Norbelle: prang may kamukha
Aimee: nalimutan ko ung name niyan e
Aimee: pero parang schoolmate ko yan before
Aimee: tapos lumipat nung high school
Norbelle: kmukha nya ung nasa softdrink commercial
Norbelle: ung sa motorola na fone
Aimee: hayop
Aimee: oo nga no
Aimee: ung sa may pool?
Norbelle: oo!
Norbelle: sya nga!

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Maghanap ka ng usapang paikot ikot! Hahaha. Kanina lang nagiisip ako ng kung ano ang pwedeng magpasaya sakin.. hindi pa tapos ang pag-iisip ko.. humahalakhak nako kakatawa. Ikaw na ang magkaroon ng kaibigang mahili sa nonsense!

Di ko na matapos tong entry na ito ng isang matinong pangungusap, mabuti pang matapos nalang bigla.

Friday, May 25, 2007

meet my japanese friends!

So what's keeping me busy? Well, since I have been waiting for feedbacks on my job applications, I have been looking for stuff to do to keep me busy. I have been a little pro-active with my job hunting since I started sending out thank you letters and giving follow-up calls to companies that I applied for. So far, its the only thing that would actually make me positive about all this.

So anyway, since I have no definite schedule, the free time is driving me crazy! I have probably watched most American t.v. show series. My old DVD player is already broken probably because of overuse - I really think that it overheated. And ever since it was replaced by a new one when I sent it for repair, I became very cautious in using it. And so I try to be balance my time between internet surfing, dvd watching, tv watching, taking care of Nicole so that my time would be too preoccupied that I would not have any free time to be frustrated.

Imagine how happy I am to know that the anime shows I have been watching since college, Bleach and Naruto are back with new episodes! When I was graduating both shows were only showing fillers. For non-anime watchers, fillers are episodes which are not featured in the manga/ comics. Basically, what they show are not really very relevant to the plot more like stories that explain some things or focus on some characters characteristics. That sounded redundant. So anyway, I'm posting some pictures of the shows' characters.
Here are my two favorite characters.

And for Naruto, they have the new shippuden or hurricane chronicles.. the main characters grew a bit after a few training supposedly.. My favorite character is Neji, the long haired guy that is second from the left on the picture.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

For the first girl who walked on the aisle

Happy Birthday to one of my favorite pleasure seekers, TERA!

When we were in college and she was one of my roommates, she was absolutely one of the loudest, most critical and ironically the most religious. Being the first to get married was actually quite a surprise because she has a very daunting attitude towards romantic relationships. Well, a few months after college and she fell in love..Now she has a tiny person to which her world revolves around.

I envy her utmost contentment on loving and being loved. Being the first one to get married among us made me think that she skipped so many life's stages. I would never have that courage to leave everything.. but I guess I also would for the right man. As she would say it, "the guy who would treat you like a princess and take care of you."

We all want fairytale endings.. I am happy she got hers. Here's to another year of laughter and friendship with one of the best teacher and mother that I know! :)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

"we'll just give you a call!"

I have been hearing this just too many times already. Do I get the call? NO. I had the worst interview yesterday with the president of the company. How was I to prove that I deserve the job when he won't ask me any question valid to be substantiated in a formal english language? Maybe I got too informal. I don't know. I am afraid that people perceive me too serious and I often come too strong for most people. I don't know. I am starting to get frustrated.

Sayang. I don't want to expect anything from that interview but the prospect of working for their new baby project was so exciting. I don't know what to do at times. Ever since I asked God to control my career life.. I feel like I rode a bus that kept on going even if I am trying to press the buzzer to stop it. It has almost been two months that I go to job interviews and its something I look forward to going more than nervous applicants I see most of the times. I do not know why I fail to get the final step, the job offer.

In other news, I just received a letter from the HRDO in DLSU regarding the complaint that I filled against one of the discipline officers. Well, the decision was in favor of the officer. It turned out that there were a lot of politics going on and the employees who saw it took sides instead of just relaying the incident as it happened. I know that I did not overreact. He really did shout at me while I was inquiring. He pointed his finger at me and my friend while his tone and facial reactions turned into irritation. Maybe something about my inquiring about something that he doesn't the answer triggered such a defensive response. I am quite disappointed. But its time to move on and leave it to a higher power to judge.

I have a pimple on my nape. Its hurting because its so big. I keep on seeing a pimple pricker on my mind.

Gosh. I wish these bad lucks..these negative news roll out by next week or next month. I have been feeling too down the past weeks about myself. Even if I try to see the positive sides of things.. I just can't help it. I am still unemployed. Still fat. Still useless. And there are things going on that I can't even post here.

And oh. My mom and I are still not in speaking terms. Medyo civil lang. Pero funny na nga ung situation whenever I think about it. I think she is torturing me. Buying the things I like and placing it in strategic places so that I can see. Biglang dumami ang chocolates sa bahay. Hahaha.

Hay. I hope the wheel of life turns. Naiinis na talaga ako e.

Monday, May 21, 2007

what is wrong with me?

I am a likable person. Or I used to think so. What is wrong with my job applications? What is wrong with me? Is it true that I'm so picky that is why I am still unemployed?

The first job I applied to offered me a position and quickly gave me a training date should I choose to work for their company. But they were offering me a commission-based salary and I don't think I would be able to handle that for a first job. Second, I got interviewed for a manufacturing company. The company and their office was small. But I saw the potential in the company's independence to enter their products to the market. I was willing to accept their offer. The sales head had arranged for me to meet the owners and also be interviewed so that I could finalize my mind about working for their company, I honestly felt that they were persuading me to join their company rather than I convincing them to hire me. After a few days though, I received no phone call from them. Next, my friend referred me and told me about the job opening in the company that she worked for. I did apply. And it was probably the longest application that I had. I was in their company the whole day. There were a lot of applicants. The security guard/ receptionist told me that the longer you stay in the company, the bigger chance you get to be hired. So I thought maybe it was all good. But 2 weeks after, no phone calls and I found out from my friend that they were already hiring and contract signing already took place. So did it hurt me that they didn't hire me? Well, NO. But it made me think.. What is wrong with me? Why won't people hire me? I came from a good school, finished two courses, backed up with professional references who excel in their own fields, had been a member and officer of several organizations and very competitive and outspoken. So what is the problem?

Maybe I come too strong. I honestly have interviewers buckle when they talk with me. Maybe I ask difficult questions a lot. Maybe I look too serious. Maybe I am too fat.


I just really hope I get a job before June. I wish I am already working this June.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

i wish i have a time machine

These days have been especially dragging. Nakakapagod maghintay ng company feedback. I know I am not exactly pro-active about finding a job.. pero I'm still trying. If only I could forward the days para naman mapunta na ako dun sa mga panahon na may silbi na akong tao.

Looking at friendster right now actually makes me sad. Most of my close friends are pre-occupied with work. My long time crush is still with his gf. And other people move on from one job to another. From one state to another.. and I am still like this. Still as useless as ever. And I am not even suppose to feel this way because I was pretty busy during college. I am suppose to be on the frontline of applicants. I know pressure. I know stress. And even if my parents keep on convincing me to use connections to get work.. I just couldn't. I don't want to start working like that. I want to start on a fresh slate. Walang partida. Maybe that is what's taking me so long to find a job. But then again.. nasabihan na naman ako kagabi ng isa ko pang kaibigan. Masyado daw akong mapili sa trabaho.

My friend Mel after knowing na I have a crush on Wentworth sent me a picture. Anak daw namin if ever. Hahaha. Medyo natakot ako. Kung sino man ang parents ng batang ito must be a prison break addict.

My friend Yeye sent me a text message. I know I have read this before but for some reason it really hit me this time.

Why can't we get all the people in the world that we really like and then just stay toegether? I guess that would not work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say goodbye. I hate goobyes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. -Snoopy

The funny thing is that I said that to my cousin last month. That I need new friends. A new enviroment. A new place I could work in. So hello to the world! I am hoping to meet more people out there!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The guy in my dreams

Since he is after all recurring in all kind of ways. I might as well post an entry about him in my new blog. The last time that I thought about this guy was October last year. He has been my crush for more than 5 years already. Five years ago, we were actually talking and very nice to each other. But college came, and I didn't know how but our friendship just basically melted.I haven't seen him almost a year now. And the only connection we would probably have is friendster. But I don't know why everytime I have a dream na andun siya.. I always remember it in some way or another.

There is something about this dream I had kanina. Usually, he would reject or snub me.. but this time we were actually friends. And he kept on reaching out. He kept on talking to me. He kept on reminding me of the things that we used to remember. And he actually said that he considered living a life with me. Maybe as friends, maybe in another form of relationship.

But that is just dreamland. In reality, he has been happily in a relationship for about 7 years already. With the same girl. And even if its just pictures I see.. that they are meant for each other. Super comfortable not only silang dalawa, but the people around them that they have brought together. I can honestly say that there is no better person for this guy other than his gf right now. It actually breaks my hurt to admit that. :)

I was hurt when my friend blatantly told me to face the truth. A truth that I have already known for years now. Hindi talaga kami bagay. Another friend asked me, "pinagnanasahan mo ba ung guy?" It sounds pangit in filipino but I think what she actually meant was if I want to be with the guy. Truthfully, I want to be in the same kind of relationship. Not necessarily with that guy, but the same level. Sometimes, I would think I'm not capable of being in one. I don't have enough family role model of a successful or good relationship. One with respect, understanding, generosity and of course love.

This guy, many people like him. Girls like him because he is gwapo and has a great built. Guys like him because he is sporty and very easy to get along with. I like him because he treats every human being with curiosity. He is genuinely interested in every person. The way he converse and treat other people is actually quite amazing. And for someone who looks so good, I guess it puts him above in all aspects in my eyes.

I hope that he would visit me again in my dreams late this year na.. he's kinda distracting. :)