Saturday, June 30, 2007

I live. I crush. I die... FROM HUMILIATION

I was already trying to sleep a few minutes ago when I realized something. Half of my most embarrassing moments happened in front of someone I like. Looking back, I can now laugh at those moments but I felt so awkward during these times! I even prayed for a lot of nights that I would be lucky enough to have amnesia and just forget what happened to me! So brace yourself to a series of unfortunate events to be unfold..

*Names of actual crushes have been changed to avoid unnecessary damage and insult to the writer's reputation. hehe.

When I was in grade school, I had a poor concept of romantic relationships. Suffice to say, it was non-existent. I simply was clueless about it. I had a crush on my classmate, Raffy. Now during that time, we had a lot of books, notebooks and other stuffs in our backpack. I think I was already in grade 5 or 6 at this time.. and we were simply too cool for bag trolleys at this age. Not all of us had lockers because we only had a few in school but we had bookshelves in our classrooms and everyone in class had one. I don't know how the each shelf was assigned to us but my space was ironically on top of Raffy's. And seeing the great opportunity in this situation, I was able to come up with a plan to have accidental brush offs and conversations with him. I would always make sure that during dismissal, we would be fixing our books at the same time. Uupo pa ako sa floor para maharangan ung shelf niya and he would be forced to wait for me.This went on and on and if I would be the first one to be arranging my books, I would really take long before I finish while he patiently wait for me. But during this one time, I was in a bad mood and I just simply want to go home immediately. And so I quickly went to the shelves and brought my books and got up and leave. So as usual, I bent down so that I could reach the middle shelf, I think I even sat on the floor for a while. Pero pagtayo ko on my way to get my bag, I stepped on my skirt and slipped on the floor. I quickly assumed indian seat position para hindi masyado ma-obvious na nadulas ako. Luckily everyone was busy doing their own thing to notice what happened to me. I looked around and tried to find Raffy and see if he saw my fall. When I didn't see him, I assumed that he might have left the classroom already. However, as I was about to leave, someone whispered in my ear, "Don't worry, ako lang ang nakakita!" And what do you know??? It was Raffy!!!

Remember when we were in grade school and japanese foldable fans were the in thing? As in. Everybody had a fan even guys! Nakakatawa nga kasi I think during that time there were a lot of designs but new fans smelled like sour wood. So if you had a new fan, you'd really have to shower it with cologne or perfume. After some time, nauso naman to write on each other's fans and leave a short note for a friend. Nakakatawa pa coz during that time I think there were only 8-10 thin wood pieces to write on kaya piling pili talaga ang makakasulat sa fan mo. My fan was filled with names of crushes and code names written by my friends. As in Paul, Nico and other names of higher batch schoolmates that I had a crush on plus some fantasy dates and moments written on it. When I think about it now, I feel such a major loser. Haha. So anyway, when I was about to come home with my cousin who was a year ahead of me, she gave me my fan. So I was kinda confused why my fan was with her. She told me that I might have left it in the girl's bathroom and Paul's girlfriend saw it and gave it to her. How embarrassing is that????

Now when I was in grade six, somebody from my class had made a love letter to a seventh grader. I know this because I was able to read the letter before she gave it to him. Our classmate showed it to most of us to get our opinions about it. I forgot my reaction but whatever we said could have pushed her to give it. But if she would have solely asked me, I bet I would have told her not to give it because she'll just regret it. And then one time after lunch, as we were on our way to our classrooms, I saw the guy. He was questioning a few people from our class. I was not aware of what he was asking but I became curious because they started to look at me. So finally we were in our classrooms, I asked my classmate what that guy was asking. Imagine how I felt when I heard that he was asking for my name. He said he wanted to know the name of his admirer. So I thought to myself this was impossible because I mean for sure when he knew my name it was not the same as the one in the letter. However, my classmate who wrote it, wrote sender as girl from sixth grade section D. There were more than twenty girls in our class whom he could have thought to be his admirer.. but what do you know? He pinpointed me. I don't know if I looked stalkerish at that time but I think I started a rally in front of his friends saying that I was not his admirer. I look back now and that move is probably more embarrassing than the fact that he thought I liked him. I'm such a loser. hahaha.

During sixth grade too we were made to check test papers of people from other sections. Since our teacher wanted to be sure that we are impartial with our checking, he was the one who handed the papers we would checked. I got to check a paper of this supposedly popular cute guy who I didn't know at that time. so when one of my gay classmates asked whose paper I was checking, I said the guy's name. Let's call him Francis. After that, my classmate made a big deal about it and told everyone that I had a crush on Francis. Now this was the time, na anything your classmates say na pinagtutulungan ka would make you mad. So I think I overdid it with the denial that they ended up thinking I really like this guy. After that class, recess time. Imagine my embarassment when Francis was in our classroom's door, I think he was looking for his friend in our class, and everyone was calling me and telling me that Francis was there. And everyone was pointing me to him. Nabingi na ata ako sa "yiheeeeee!" ng mga classmates ko! They were laughing and teasing me. A year after, he was my classmate. But this time, I knew him already and I actually had a crush on him. He turned out to be cute and charming pala. And I thought wala na tapos na ung incident na yun. But one time, he was my groupmate in Math and I tried to make small talk during breaktime. I told him this joke that would entail me to hold his hand. During the joke, he kept looking at me and my face simultaneously.. then he told me, "Gusto mo lang ata mahawakan kamay ko e!" I forgot my reaction pero I think binitawan ko ung kamay niya and inirapan ko siya. Pero super pahiya ako dun kasi bukong-buko e. Gustong makaiskor! Hahaha! If I only blush, siguro super pula ko na that time. But anyway, we ended being good friends during high school.

In other news, I have just finished watching Grey's Anatomy Season 3 and as usual, the tv show left me hanging and wanting more. What I like about this show is that there are so many characters that a person can relate to. I mean usually we see ourselves in the lead actor's character, but this time its the people around her that I could see myself in. For the record, I could never relate with Meredith Gray. I think I am a combination of Callie, the insecure wife and Cristina, the overcompetitive intern. Physically and emotionally, I feel as if Callie has portrayed my persona on tv. She's so tough and soft at the same time and to top it off, she's just so beautiful. Then we have Christina, if I was part of that batch of interns, I would definitely be the person with the type A personality who just stands out by seing everything as a competition. Then I fall in love... and BOOM! I get a little softer and mushy and sometimes out of control which is something that I detest. However, I'd probably do the same things she did if I have my very own Preston Burke. But if I am Christina then Camzi would definitely be my Meredith Gray. She's my person. And finally, how could I forget George O'malley? I'd probably fall in love with my best friend like him. (I can already hear Norbelle singing Kung ako nalang sana in the background!!). Hehe. O well, I really like this tv series. For a period of time, I was asking myself why I never considered being a surgeon.. then I remembered how I felt when I was holding a frog down and feeling its heart beat in my hands when I was in second year high school. I was mortified. And I vowed to get as little science courses as possible during college.

Callie. In an interview with Oprah she said when the producers saw her act, she was made to choose among ABC's shows and she was the one who chose Grey's Anatomy. How lucky is that? She's so gorgeous here.

Sexy Izzie. She changed a lot since her Rosswell days, I'm glad she graduated from teen tv shows

The very pretty Dr. Addison Montgomery. I admire her character's sophistication. I love her hair here. I like her with Alex Karev.

Absolutely hot. I prefer McSteamy over McDreamy. I don't care. I like him. I hope they pursue a love story on him and Izzie.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Cupcake Cravings

Its five o-clock in the morning and I am having the ultimate craving for cupcakes!! I don't know why.. it has been days with this cupcakefest on my mind. The thing is, I am not talking about just any cupcake, I'm thinking heavy frosting on top and fudgy moist cake for the base! I can't even think of the exact flavor I want and so I googled some cupcake ideas and what do you know? There a lot of people who take cupcakes seriously. Hurray for cupcake communities!! I got some pictures from

CLASSIC CUP: Chocolate cake, thick frosting and sprinkles on top.

And can you believe this? A bride cupcake!! How cute is that??!!
I also joined the mailing list of I'm officialy part of the sprinkles mailing list!!

This is a sample picture of their cupcake.. This is exactly what I had in mind!! I nearly wanted to switch countries and work for them just to taste one cupcake!!! I love it! I looooooooooooooooooooooooove it!

You know those obsessive-compulsive people who turn to baking whenever they are depressed?? I suddenly wished I had a sister or cousin or any relative or friend who can bake like that! Gimme some of that! Its funny cause I messaged my friend Cygnet and told her about my cupcake craving, I was hoping she would keep my mind off it. Barely five minutes after, she wanted one too!! :)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Not good enough

There's always a wave of sadness that encompasses me once each month in this year. For some unexplainable reason, I feel lonelier, dissatisfied and unsure about myself for a period of time. No, its not about my hormones again. Its not the time of the month. Its just that, there exists a burning desire in me to do better, to accomplish more, to find change and there is nothing happening so I feel such a failure.

The other day, my mom and I had a talk again about my job hunting. It seems that most of the people around her and even her are quite bothered that until now I haven't landed a job. ANY JOB. Naturingan pa akong Lasalista pero wala naman akong makuhang trabaho. The things they say are really hurtful. But I was raised by my mom to not get affected by what other people say. Especially the blatant, uneducated comments. But I guess even my own mom is getting affected. Nakakainis. Its not fun to hear being compared to a lot of people. I mean it was bad enough that I had to go through all that when I was younger. I had no siblings but I had a lot of cousins. And now that I am here facing the real world, trying to brave it and look for a job.. it does not help that there is pressure everywhere. Even from people that I barely talk to. If there's one thing I hate, its really those people who just tell you how you should run your life even if they don't know what is going on.

What's bad is, after graduation things like career goals, career path, short-term and long-term goals have been pivotal to my decisions. Yet nobody in my family understands it. Only my ninang who I barely talk to sees my point. The others just don't see why I couldn't just grab any job. Sometimes I also wonder why I just go on and grab the first job that I could get. But my personality has taken some form of detour. i no longer want to make quick and easy decisions without having to think about what I could regret 3-5 years from now. Maybe I am being too careful, after all being penniless means the same thing in all languages. I feel awful that I still can't depend on myself for my necessities.

I just wish I could fast forward a little of my life now. Maybe just about 2-3 weeks. Hopefully, by that time I am part of the working group. Until then, I don't expect this feeling of incapability to fly away.. and that feeling of not being good enough is enough reason for me to try harder.

Friday, June 15, 2007

To the best man that lived on earth

This post is dedicated to my father, I have listed 64 reasons why he is the best for me! Why 64? read on..

1. He never forgets to put money in my bag every Monday morning. (when I was still in school)

2. . He learned to drink medicine for me. (Both my parents were required by the doctor since they were having a hard time in conceiving a baby)

3. He promised my mom to dedicate his life for my welfare.

4. He tries to prepare my lunch even if he doesn't know how to cook.

5. He is a simple man.

6. He loves me unconditionally.

7. He never asks for anything in return.

8. He tries to shut down the computer when I'm in a hurry to leave even if he doesn't know how.

9. He buys me sanitary napkins during emergency times even if he admits the saleslady laughs at him.

10. He never preferred me to be a boy. (you know those father-son stuff!)

11. Never in my whole life had he hurt me physically, emotionally or spiritually.

12. He doesn't want me to lose weight because he's afraid that I'd have a bofyfriend.

13. He waited for me outside school so that we could go home together.

14. He accompanied me to watch a sappy movie.

15. He always listens to any kwento that I have.

16. He's the only person that I truly enjoy watching basketball with.

17. He keeps the letter from La Salle about my grades away from my mom.

18. He has supported me with everything I do.

19. He always supplies me with internet cards. (when I was still using dial-up, now he pays for DSL)

20. He always gives me money even if he doesn't have much.

21. He tells me the latest news about current events, news and even chismis!

22. He calls me in my cellphone often times just to hear my voice.

23. He buys me flowers during Valentines Day.

24. He asked for the Cable company to greet me on their channel during my birthday.

25. He buys me street foods such as isaw, barbeque and ice candy.

26. He never complains when I ask him to bring me to my cousin's house.

27. He always checks if I'm already sleeping.

28. He would always open the door for me if I go home late.

29. He'd wake up at 4am when I was in high school to make sure I am ready for my class.

30. He spoils me to the max!

31. I never felt that I am a failure because of him.

32. He eats menudo with bread.

33. HE DOES NOT SMOKE. (No offense to smokers, I just prefer a dad who doesn't)

34. He can make me calm when I am angry.

35. He gives me the remote control when I want to watch something on t.v.

36. He told me that he cannot imagine life without me.

37. He lets me use his phone to call and text my friends.

38. He keeps a picture of me of my first Communion during grade three in his wallet.

39. He knows when I steal chocolates from their room.

40. He opens the air-con switch for me always.

41. He goes with me outside the house if i have to buy something from 7-11

42. He buys pansit luglog (another type of palabok) and taho for breakfast.

43. He buys me my favorite shampoo and conditionerm regularly.

44. He lets me watch t.v. in their room even if he is already sleeping.

45. He carries my bag when it is heavy.

46. He carries the paper bags when my mom and i go shopping.

47. He never said "NO" to me.

48. He cleans my shoes when he sees dirt on it.

49. He fixes my night lamp when it's not working because he knows how much i love to read.

50. He does not pretend that he knows everything.

51. He is a constant reminder of the goodness of God.

52. He is not strict.

53. He trusts me completely.

54. He is known in our street as a very nice person.

55. He doesn't forget to exercise.

56. He eats as much as I do.

57. He has taught me real values.

58. He sacrificed a lot ever since he married and had a daughter.

59. He makes me feel like a princess.

60. He would separate articles from newspapers that he thinks would interest me.

61. He would buy me juices whenever I am going to eat.

62. He would drive me from Cavite to Makati when I have job interviews.

63. He would try incessantly to influence me to be healthy.

64. And lastly.. It's his birthday on June 25 plus its Fathers Day!

I know I don’t need any occasion for me to thank God that I have a father like you! Happy Fathers’ day and advance Happy Birthday! You are truly one of a kind. Thank you for being a good father and a good man. Love you so much!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Random Rant

Nakakainis ang mga companies who hire only honor graduates and under compensate them!
Nakakainis ang feeling ng nagsisisi sa dami ng nakain for the day.
Nakakainis ang sarap ng creamy Cadbury chocolate bar.
Nakakainis na wala na akong mapanuod na DVD.
Nakakainis na wala na din ako pera pambili ng bagong DVD.
Nakakainis ang Red Ribbon chocolate peanut butter mousse dahil nakakautang kainin pero gustong gusto ko!
Nakakainis ang mga crush ko na si popsicle dahil I only talk with him in my dreams.
Nakakainis na wala dito sa Pilipinas si Camzi.
Nakakainis dahil ang tagal ko ng naghahanap ng trabaho.
Nakakainis dahil ang init sa room everytime I wake up even if its just 9am.
Nakakainis ang addiction ko sa babies, it makes me want to have one too!
Nakakainis ang laki ng mukha ko ngayon.
Nakakainis na for the past six months my life has been so stagnant.
Nakakainis ang Deal or No Deal. Ang daming masyadong viewers kahit napakaplain ng concept.
Nakakainis ang nanagyari kay Ruffa at Yilmaz. I had hoped na hindi na lang sila nagbabangayan sa t.v.
Nakakainis ang commercial ng sinabawang gulay. Hindi mukhang masarap.
Nakakainis ang commercial ng Rexona na puro pink ang mga babae.
Nakakainis ang mga taong walang ginawa kung hindi magreklamo sa work nila.
Nakakainis kasi I can't complain back coz I don't have a job of my own.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

6 weird things about me

I've been tagged by Jemme! .

These are the Rules:

1.Each player of this game starts with 6 weird/random unknown things about him/herself.
2.People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 things as well as state the rules clearly.
3. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

P.S. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. The left side of my face is my camera/ picture angle.

2. I'm constantly haunted by my long-term high school crush in my dreams.

3. My secret ambition is to become Donald Trump's next apprentice.

4. My left eye is kirat whenever I smile.

5. I look forward to having children more than marrying someone. (Boyfriend muna!)

6. I play dirty when people deserve it. (Hahaha!)

6 people :

norbs, camzi, mel, tera, cygnet & lupe!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The story of the forbidden cake

How can you resist a two tower almond carrot cake?

Let's see if anyone is watching... Hmm, I think its safe!

Just one taste is enough!

Oops someone is coming! Uh oh! I have to hide! Hey I might ruin the icing! Hey why is this cake so hard???

Hello?? Knock knock! Where is the cake?? The real cake! Nobody told me they use fake cakes during weddings!! Waah!

*More wedding entries coming soon!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

bridal shower

In the tradition of trying to gasp the last minutes of singlehood.. we went ahead and travelled in the northern part of Manila to have my cousin's bridal shower. Since we don't have any plans at all, we just basically went to Timog and found some great sights... We were there to look at men who apparently have "exotic dancing moves". We did find one, a new bar that for the love of my reputation, I would purposely fail to mention here. I was actually very nervous during the time that we inquired, chose our special guest and just basically during the whole night.

One thing I learned, I don't find it sexy when men perform that way. I would much rather prefer them playing the piano, singing, dancing to some hiphop song, and maybe engaging in a wildly engaging and thought provoking conversation.

Here are some pictures during the night, apparently we just looked rather great!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

guess who i saw!

From all the excitement with my new hair and new dress, I forgot that for a brief moment.. I was awed by a very gorgeous human being! Guess who I saw while I was at the mall!

I love you Piolo!

Super mesmerizing niya sa personal! It was really funny coz I was with my aunt and cousin. And I forgot how totally groovy my aunt was with celebrities! Haha! We were in SM Bacoor and so as usual asa gitna ng basement (where the foodcourt is) ung stage and the people from the higher floors could see what was going on. Kaya lang siyempre kagulo, Piolo and Regine un e. I didn't care much for Regine though coz she was just facing Piolo the entire time even if people in front of her were asking for autographs. Buti pa si Piolo giving his pacute but totally digging it smile! Nakakatawa coz my aunt and my cousin were taking turns squezzing in the crowd just to get a glimpse of the guy. Conversation between the three of us went like this:

Aunt: O sino ung pinagkakaguluhan nila?
Cousin: Baka si Piolo, kasi may movie sila diba at naririnig ko ung kanta ng movie nila sa background.
Me: Teka let me check.. Omigosh! Si Piolo nga!
Aunt: Ha? talaga? patingin! patingin!.... Ang gwapo niya!
Cousin: Aunt Nell, Ako naman! Ako naman! Wow ang gwapo nga!
Me: Teka pasingitin niyo naman ako.. sisigaw ako para tumingin dito sa taas.. PIOLO!!!!
Aunt Nell: Nako ang pogi talaga! ang ganda ng mata!
Me: Ayaw tumingin e.. gusto ko ung lips!
Cousin: Speechless at this moment.

After shopping:
Me: Aunt, hinihintay daw tayo ni Piolo sa parking lot, imimeet ba natin siya?
Aunt: Sure sure! Sige sabihin mo papunta na tayo!
Me: Teka text ko lang!

Hahaha! Me and my pogi loving family! Hay nako Piolo hanggang sa susunod nating pagkikita! Basta ang pogi mo. Period.

Sunday, June 03, 2007


My new look!

I wont have problems with my hair anymore.. atleast for a year. I also found a dress I'll be wearing for the wedding.

Mission accomplished! Now I only need to learn some basic great make-up tips so I would look fabulous on Friday!
Cheers! :)

Friday, June 01, 2007


I am now typing this entry in Aimee's house. For some of my friends I am called Aimeeren because there are two Aimees in our room.

Earlier today I went to MOA to check out the dress that Teyz reserved for me. Unfortunately, it didn't look good on me. I looked super mega plump in that dress. So I was disappointed because I had a hard time going there since I rode the bus and multicab in baclaran. After 20 minutes, I got a call from Aimee and she told that they (she and norbelle) are on their way to pick me up. We went to ATC afterwards, ate at recipes and watch pirates of the caribbean.

I felt the differences in our lifestyles now that both of them are already working girls. Aimee even feel asleep while watching the movie. :) And Norbs was fighting so hard not to close her eyes. Well, its already early morning and both of them are sleeping already beside me but I am still awake typing this. Hehe. Tsk tsk. I wish I would have a job soon!

Nice night girls! I hope to steal you again from your busy work! That is.. if I am not busy with work myself soon! wink!

More wedding dresses

I found some really pretty wedding dress ideas online. I saw some kimono style dresses and figured that with my body type it would be probably best if I wore one like this.